Welcome to the tea party ^_^

Good morning!

My name is Emma, and welcome to my blog. ♥

This blog is a place for me to document my recovery from BDD (Body Dysmorphic Disorder). For those not in the know, BDD is a psychological illness in which the sufferer views their own outer appearance in a distorted way. Basically, for many sufferers it's really really really bad insecurity about they way they look to others.

I was diagnosed with BDD this year when I became very depressed about the way I looked and lost a lot of confidence in myself. I styled my hair for hours before going out and wore full make-up every day, even to go to college. My spots started getting worse on my face, which then led me to wear more make-up! I was checking my appearance in every mirror, car mirror, shop window that I passed in the street. If I felt like I didn't look my best every day, I wouldn't go out. And if I had to go out I would feel so uncomfortable all day that I would cry.

I never thought there was anything wrong with me because there were other girls at my college who were also obsessed with their appearance and they always seemed to look amazing. The truth is they were normal, they looked normal, but BDD caused me to view them as visually superior to me. I looked awful compared to everyone else in my mind's eye.

BDD is not extreme vanity. It is the opposite to that. If someone made a negative comment about my appearance I would take it like a bullet to the brain. All I want more than anything is natural beauty, I want to be able to go down to my local supermarket wearing no make-up and not have to bury my face in my boyfriend's chest because I hate the way I look.

So this blog is here for me to write down how I am recovering. And I am recovering! ^_^

But it's not just that, I want to use this blog to document things that happen in my life and things that interest me. As you can probably tell I am not too old to love Pokemon haha! ><
I have many hobbies, and want to learn more! I want to become good at a musical instrument, and I want to learn Japanese. I want to learn to sew and cook properly too! ♥

So I'll be telling you about all of these things. ^_^

I hope you enjoy it! And don't forget to drink green tea, it may taste horrible to a lot of people but it's so so so good for you! ♥